The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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