yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
