This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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