you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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