Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
