So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
