he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
worst night to have a conscience
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
