Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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