i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
