Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
