Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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