Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize