NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i've created a new STD.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
