I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
