I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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