I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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