Cold hands, warm shart.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
