I am spending my child support on dildos
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
