wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
