I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize