I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
