And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You can't motorboat a personality
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
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