And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
