I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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