would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
