even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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