It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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