dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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