I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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