if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize