I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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