Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
