Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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