i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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