yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
