There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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