how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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