Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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