We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
