You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
