three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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