ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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