I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
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It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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