There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
