so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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