But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
