idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how can u be prego again
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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