so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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