put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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