he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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