Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize