Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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