Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
