how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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