how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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