Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
