someone threw a dead crab at me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
