"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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