For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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