Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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