You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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