My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
